Thursday, May 11, 2017

The Avengers Discussing "TrumpCare"

Natasha: well, this is awesome. No Avenger except Tony is eligible for health insurance.

Pepper: what are you talking about?? What happened??

Bruce: we all have preexisting conditions. For instance, I have hypertension.

Clint: I'm deaf.

Bucky: mental illness.

Wanda: *simply raises hand to agree with Bucky*

Sam: PTSD.

Steve: asthma, allergies, colorblindness...

Natasha: we'll be here all day, Rogers.

Pepper: he doesn't have those anymore!

Steve: but I did. They're pre-existing.

Natasha: I've broken every bone in my body at least once.

Peggy: I've been shot, and I'm 98. Technically I should be on Medicare.

Tony: guys, I'm a recovering alcoholic. They're not going to cover me either.

*pause*

Natasha: OK, so Pepper is the only one of us who can get health insurance. We're the AVENGERS, and we can't get health insurance.

Pepper: Um, I have that Extremis thing.

*pause*

Natasha: OK, so JARVIS is the only one of us who can get health insurance.

Peggy: Would Ultron count as a preexisting condition? He was sort of a virus.

*pause*

Natasha: ....damn it.

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