More improvements.. baby steps, but visible

An is showing definite signs of improvement. She wasn't obsessively clutching her hands tight, tsking and moaning over everything. Now, however, she has gone to the next, expected, stage: emotional blackmail. She tries to convince Wing that she is doomed, that we have sealed her fate, that she will die in there, how can he be so wrong, so optimistic, so naive. I told him to wait, he will be hit with even more.

Also told him to be prepared because even though I've been all for getting her well, and back home asap, she will probably start saying the stay in the hospital is some dastardly plan of mine.

She has also tried to bamboozle the hospital staff into letting her out to go shopping for clothing, as everything she has is suddenly 'unsuitable'. She told them it would only take 4 days. Doctor nixed it, as expected.

So then she tried it on Wing.
He said "How about if I get you some clothes."

An: "No no. Maybe not 4 days, but 3?"

Wing: If you need something we can get it for you.

Wing: How about I bring them from home?

An: No! They're filthy! (no, but hey, it's part of the depression). Just let me out and I can get something suitable

Wing: Sandra can wash them.

An: *sighs and gives up for now* Ok.

Clothing laundered, dried, brought to her, but one of them isn't 'right' for the hospital.

Wing did say she's having moments of total lucidity, then flips to scared depressed/anxiety ridden at the blink of an eye. But the lucid moments are getting longer.

Oh! Almost forgot: she might not be taking part in the gatherings in the TV room, or in Occupational Therapy, but she has poked her nose in for a look/see. Better than just sitting in her room adjusting the blanket over and over. :)

Even though she denies it

An is getting better. She's been in the hospital a week, and with regular nutritious meals, she has put on 1.2kgs. I told Wing she looked like she has put a bit of weight on. I was right. She now weighs 40.2 kgs, up from 39. Of course, she said she's losing weight, but Depression Troll is a liar.

She has had some positive results with the anti-depressant she was put on. The dosage was increased slightly (she was told this would happen) and she's not happy about it, but does take it, more out of irrational fear (she thinks "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" was a documentary), rather than knowing it will make her better. Don't care, the end result will be the same.

We brought her some slippers and some track pants that we picked up at the store. OCD kicked in, and she was working herself into quite a state. Trudi came in (bless her and her infinite patience and skill at nursing) is one of the nurses that isn't 'nice', and told An to calm down over and over in a very soothing yet with firm voice, that she was working her self up over nothing. An might not have calmed down, but she stopped OCDing over it.

She is getting better, even if she refuses to or can't see it.

Resized cat enclosure all set up with new litter tray and fresh litter. Yin was very happy to have company, and Alan brushed her out. She liked it.

An's recovery is slow going, but it's going. And she will get better.

Group meeting

Definitely not the funnest thing to attend, but very necessary.

Without going into details: Prognosis good. An is already having a small measure of improvement. Nothing to write home about, and (No, An) not enough that she will be allowed to return to outpatient. We tried outpatient. It didn't work.

She has a major amount of resentment, and funnily enough, not towards me, but towards Wing for admitting her to the hospital.

Good News: all her tests came back, and there's nothing physically wrong. Even CT scan of brain is clear of Alzheimer, lesions, or other abnormalities. it's going to be a slow road to recovery, but she can and will recover.

Funny the things you read on "thar interwebs"

I've been watching Carl Sagan's "COSMOS". I thought it would be great if I could find it as an audio book. I looked, and could only find two Sagan books, neither of which were "COSMOS".

What I found funny was this: On Amazon dot com, some bright spark bought a printed in 1982 copy of "COSMOS". He gave the book a one star rating because the info in the book was 'dated'. What.. the..fu...? A 30 yr old book, and he's surprised the newer physics discoveries aren't in it?

I told him "Complaining that a 30 year old book you bought has dated info is rather silly, isn't it?"

But I digress: Audio book. I couldn't find one anywhere, so I came up with this idea: I have the DVDs, Who better to narrate COSMOS than Carl Sagan. (whistles innocently)

Translating her comments

Wing visited his mom last night, and we have translated what she meant about the hospital staff not treating her well.  The carers/nurses who don't allow her to sit in her room refusing to eat, and walk her to the dining room to take her meals, and making sure she eats, gives her her medication and makes sure she takes it are the ones 'not treating her well/not nice'. 

Again, even though she denies it, she is better rested. I wouldn't be surprised if she put on a wee bit of weight after just a week there. Not so much from just eating regularly, but from not getting up in the early hours of the morning, and surgically cleaning the house from top to bottom every day, and stressing out about everything.

We also learned what she is calling the 'house falling down around her ears'. All houses get what's called 'settling cracks' in paint or plaster. Typically, you just get some filler, smooth some in, and repaint or re-plaster. Again, she isn't having any of that. Yes, I know her inability to accept anything other than her negative world views are part and parcel of her depression.

Working on some of my herb plants

What I thought was dirt on my sage plant,  tossed up by the recent rain, turned out to be white aphid type insects. The poor plant is infested with them. 

Just spent about an hour  rummaging around for plant pots, then clipping off healthy-ish parts of the sage plant, cleaning/removing as many of the insects as possible, spritzing them with an organic insecticide (watched the rest of the bugs just fall off YAY), rinsed them, dipped cut end into cutting powder and planted about a half dozen of them.

Might have to buy fresh sage for a while, but with luck I'll have another crop of sage in a while.

It was like the twilight zone

Visited Wing 's mom at the hospital.  It was surreal, bordering on bizarre. First she insisted we had been waiting for a long time. No, we had only gotten there. Then it got odd.

She insists the place is filthy. The place is spotless, and I mean spotless. But to her, because she hasn't been the one making her skin raw scrubbing it, the place is filthy.  We gently told her, no it isn't, but she was having none of that.  I pretended I had to use the public restroom, and went out to tell her care nurse, because they need to be informed about her worries/delusions.

We gave her the bag with her clothing in is and she did nothing but go tsk tsk and moan, saying how nothing was suitable. It's her regular around the house clothing, pretty much what everyone there is wearing.  Then she was worried someone was going to steal them.

We also told her we are allowed to bring her dietary supplements from home, the ones she used to taking. That's when she starts in on that she has to take what they give her only, and if she complains, they will drug her even more. Again, not true, but nothing we can do to dissuade her.

Next, I missed a phone call. Whoever was trying to call me, then called Wing. He took it out of her room.  She then gets this very cunning, yet paranoid look on her face, and tiptoes to the door in an effort to eavesdrop. I speak loud enough so not only An could hear me, but Wing could as well. So he walked further down the hall out of her earshot.

That's when she started in on about how she was a prisoner being held captive against her will. Gently told no, she's in a hospital because she is unwell, and when she becomes well, she can go home.

There is a spot of good news. Although she denies it, she looks much better rested than she did last time I saw her.  And the nurses there aren't letting her get away with just hiding in her room and refusing to eat. Two of them gently, yet firmly, escort her to the dining room, put her meals in front of her, and she's not allowed to leave until she's finished.  So, not only is she sleeping, she is eating balanced, nutritional meals.