But after almost 10 years of my keeping no contact with my mother, for reasons that some of my closest friends know why, I decided to bite the bullet and send her a bouquet of flowers in a vase for her 75th birthday, and a card that said "Happy 75th Birthday wishes from Perth, Western Australia! Stay warm! signed with all our names.
Now, I don't want anything from her. This was done for me, for me to let her know that I do forgive, but I won't forget. I can't. I know I wasn't the 'perfect' child, but what she and her choices did to me while I was growing up was just so wrong and had a lot to do why I wasn't 'perfect'.
I checked my email, and saw I had one from her, but was leery about opening it. But I did (as ShadoutCarver said, at least they don't tick). She thanked me for the flowers, they were beautiful, and she hopes we are all well. I'm ambivalent about answering it.
We are well. Part of me wants to answer her email with just "You're welcome, and we are." But I don't want this to seem an invitation to reinstating that toxic relationship that was our relationship for over 30 years.
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