Dear Fuq Up Fairy, find someone else to bother, please?

About two weeks ago, I woke up with what I thought was just a bad cramp/charley horse, from my right foot, straight up to my right hand. The pain was intense. My foot arced and the toes curled, and my fingers dug into the palm of my hands.  As I was 'stuck' in one position by closely snuggling cats, I thought it was just because I was in one position for too long. 

Then, 5 days later,  it happened twice. Once when I got out of bed, and the second time when I was walking out to the car.

Two days later, Monday, it happened 4 times.  I called GP, and was informed I would be told to go to the ED/ER, so I called a cab.  Had another 'cramp' before the cab arrived, and another when the cab dropped me off at the hospital. The ED doctor got to witness one of the 'episodes', and I was admitted to the Neuroscience wing of the hospital for a possible seizure disorder.

Four days, lots of blood tests, (geeze, people how many times do I and the tests have to tell you that I am NOT diabetic!) a CAT scan, an MRI, and having the daytime floor staff seeing a 'seizure',  I was hooked up to an EEG and a seizure was recorded and videoed.

The goodish news: Dr B, the neurologist, told me I don't have any tumors, lesions, clots. Nor do I have any signs of Parkinsons, Alzheimer's, or other degenerative brain disease. EEG didn't record any epilepsy or other seizure disorder.

What I do have i 'idiopathic hemidystonia'.  Something, for whatever reason, is causing these seizures-not-seizures. It's my brains' way of handling.. something. They are painful, and outright frightening. That feeling of loss of control is terrifying.  But I remain alert, aware, and even during them, if given a phrase or question, I can answer it or repeat it back.

There is also this wonderful (sarcasm there) kenetic component. In other words, certain body movements can bring one on. (Example, after reflex testing in both the ED and my hospital room, getting up and sitting back down would cause one) I've been having a few every day since being discharged from the hospital.

As awful as these are, they aren't life threatening, so I was allowed to go home. I made an appointment to see my GP, to see what the next step should be.

Soon

Took antiseptic shower with the pre-op soap. Needed a bit of help reaching around my back, so called Wing for assistance. He obliged. Skin feels a bit tight now.

Necklace my grandmother gave me, rings, earrings, bracelet, and citrine in a box to keep them safe at home.  Have my overnight bag packed.

My stomach is churning with stress/anxiety right now.  I should go to bed now, and try to get some sleep, as I will be getting up around 4am to get to the hospital by 6:30am. 

It's starting to get real..and real scary

Had a phone call from the anesthesiologist as she wanted a full run down of my medical history (or as near as I can fill her in on) and for what will be happening on Monday.  

It seems I will be given an epidural, and then general, as a way to cut back on the amount of general to be used.   By keeping me numb from lower back down, the less general anesthesia is needed, and it will clear the system faster for a quicker recovery.

I will also be given an arterial jab as a better way to keep an eye on oxygenation and to keep an eye on my blood pressure. 

This is the first time I have had to have major surgery.... and I have no problem admitting I'm scared.

Didn't sleep too well

And not overly surprised at that. My son was taken to the hospital early yesterday morning, before 6am, in extreme abdominal pain. No, not gall stones, not appendicitis, so any keyboard diagnosticians take a break.  Spent almost the entire day with Alan in the ER and then hospital ward. 

After being awake for over 20 hours, I come home and find some really rancorous comments from RWNJs that think they're being witty because they look at the header of my weblog, and stupidly assume it's referring to my mental health.  No, it's a bit of prose from a book about arguing with oneself and choices, and how close we come to making wrong decisions. Literacy is great, and when you see it fail, it can be either amusing or sad.

This time, it just pissed me off. I don't mind disagreements, but when you take it to personal attacks, all your comments have lost any merit you thought they might have had.

Now pardon me, while I go back to waiting. 

Oh, and in case you think I'm bullshitting/lying :

My son Alan, at Fiona Stanley Hospital, letting concerned friends know he's 'okay', taken yesterday afternoon

Now fuck off.