I miss you.

I miss you. I catch myself watching and waiting for you to come out of your hidey-hole in the closest.  Or waiting for you to come into the bathroom when I'm 'busy', to demand pats and pets. Looking for you in the window, 'solar charging'.

I miss the feel of your light landing on the bed, and the delicate way you would start walking up my foot, ankle, leg, hip, side, to sit on my arm/shoulder to bat and paff me on the cheek, or nose. Or to gently bite my cheek, purring so hard
. 
I miss you peeking at me over the curtain, meowing because it was "Time to eat!".  I miss that when you were standing at the side door, you would look at my reflection, right into my eyes, and know that was me, meow to be let out to sit on your cushion. I miss you knocking on the door to be let back in. I miss you meeping at me when I said "Echo, bedroom light on" thinking I was talking to you.

I miss how you never left my side when I was sick, or would stay with me after I got home from being at the hospital, and how you would let me 'cry in your fur' when I was down.

I miss you in a myriad of small ways, that has left a hole in me, that will take a long time to heal.

I miss you.

#keito

I am seriously torn between which photo raw editing program to use, that isn't Adobe.

I love On1 PhotoRaw, but the stand alone has problems that seem to crop up with every iteration since before it was name for years (aka on1 2018, 2019 etc etc) 

With the latest version, On1 PhotoRaw 2020, when using it as a stand alone, my graphics tablet is almost unusable with the local adjustment brushes. At first I thought it was because I was watching a video on 2nd monitor, so I shut that down. And I made sure nothing else was playing/running other than ordinary computer programs.

The second the stylus tip touched the tablet, not only did the cursor move glacially slow, if at all, but the program would have the "Not Responding" in the program window frame. When that vanished, SOMETIMES what I was trying to do succeeds, but more often than not, I end up with some weird brush stroke adjustment somewhere it doesn't belong.

That being typed, if I use On1 PhotoRaw 2020 as a PLUGIN with Photoshop, I don't get those horrible slow downs.  But having to the the Raw adjustments, then punt the JPG into Photoshop, shut down On1, only to launch it as a plugin isn't a very efficient workflow

DxO PhotoLab 3 standalone.  About the same price to buy/upgrade as On1.  And I am sad to say that I can do all the adjustment brushes I want without it turning  my computer into an 8088.  I might not have all my nifty presets and custom brushes in it (yet) but performance-wise, it's much better than On1 2020 Standalone.

This has got to be one of the most bogus scam I've seen

Hey, I know your password is: 9041

I haven't used a 4 character password ever.

Your computer was infected with my malware, RAT (Remote Administration Tool), your browser wasn't updated / patched, in such case it's enough to just visit some website where my iframe is placed to get automatically infected, if you want to find out more - Google: "Drive-by exploit".

More bullshit.

My malware gave me full access and control over your computer, meaning, I got access to all your accounts (see password above) and I can see everything on your screen, turn on your camera or microphone and you won't even notice about it.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uhh no.

I collected all your private data and I RECORDED YOU (through your webcam) SATISFYING YOURSELF!

Seeing as I keep my webcams covered with a microfiber hood unless in use for video calls, again, nope!

After that I removed my malware to not leave any traces.

No traces because it was never on my computer to begin with.

I can send the video to all your contacts, post it on social network, publish it on the whole web, including the darknet, where the sick people are, I can publish all I found on your computer everywhere!

Go ahead... I dare you.

Only you can prevent me from doing this and only I can help you out in this situation.

But wait! There's MORE!

Transfer exactly 1400$ with the cryptocurrency DASH (DSH) to my DASH (DSH) address.

It's a very good offer, compared to all that horrible shit that will happen if I publish everything!

You can buy DASH (DSH) here: www.cex.io , www.binance.com , www.bitpanda.com , or Google for other exchanger.

You can send the DASH (DSH) directly to my address, or create your online wallet first here: www.cryptonator.com , www.freewallet.org or download and install your hardware wallet EXODUS first from: www.exodus.io and then send to mine.

My DASH (DSH) address is: XnfypYUMso855erq8vmsdGcFPcnWeUh1G4

Copy and paste my address, it's (cAsE-sEnSEtiVE).

I give you 2 days to transfer the DASH (DSH).

You've got a better chance of seeing God.

As I got access to this email account, I will know if this email has already been read. If you get this email multiple times, it's to make sure you read it, my mailer script has been configured like that and after payment you can ignore it! After receiving the payment, I will remove everything and you can life your live in peace like before. Next time update your browser before browsing the web!

If you think I believe this, I have a big green statue in New York Harbor for sale... cheap!

Silver linings aren't always great

Had the MRI on my left knee after an exam by Mr S (osteo surgeon)

My silver lining is this: if it wasn't for the lack of sensitivity/feeling in my left leg because of spinal surgery 9+ years ago and the nerve damage occurring when the disc collapsed, requiring said surgery, I would be in considerable pain.

You see, my left knee is bone on bone, with the small exception of an itty bitty piece of meniscus on the outside left of the knee. The weight bearing inside right of the knee.. it's gone.   I also have nothing but serous fluid behind my knee cap.  Yup, I need another knee replacement.

So, my 'silver lining' is preventing me from feeling pain.  Mr S said I would know when it's time.  Right now, I can get around without much of a problem. And since I am still struggling with the nerve pain, and recovery from the surgery for the compartment syndrome, I'm rather grateful for my dead-ish feeling leg.

On happy/sad news, I got a stainless steel bracelet for "Keito's Heart Pendant".   I also had his fur filled pendant engraved with a small ornate K and Ziggy's fur filled pendant engraved with an equally ornate Z.  I'm still crying about the loss of Ziggy and Keito.  Last week, I got tired of waiting for the mythical "time" to be found to help me, so dug a hole in the back yard, sprinkled some of both Keito and Ziggy's ashes in it, and planted a young rosemary shrub.  I cried my eyes out afterward.  I miss them more than I thought I would, especially Keito. 

Keito is home

I've placed the toy mice he would hoard, and the laser pointer that gave him so many hours of play time trying to catch the red bug next to his urn.  My heart is both breaking and numb at the same time. 

RIP Keito

Keito, my 'babykitty', who I have had since he was 5 weeks old, is gone. We helped him cross the rainbow bridge at 11:38pm, October 5, 2019.

This morning is the first time I haven't greeted by him. I wasn't followed into the bathroom, my glasses ear pieces weren't snogged and chewed on, my fingers weren't licked and nibbled on, and my jewelry/watch cheek rubbed on.  I miss his sound, his silky soft fur, and his calm loving personality.

He was mine and I was his.  I feel as if I've had a limb removed, or a big chunk of my heart.  I think part of me has died inside as well.

Keito, aka Mister Meow-Ge, aka The Purrminator isn't well

A few weeks ago, after a bout of chemo therapy, the vet told us to just feed Keito whatever he wanted, when he wanted.   I wish I had known he hadn't read Keito’s entire medical history, because that was probably the worst possible instructions to give us.  I thought he knew Keito was diabetic, and instructed accordingly.

What 1 week of following his instructions was Keito going into acute hyperglycemia, on top of being treated for lymphoma. He spent a week at the vet, and he was doing so well. Alert, active, after insulin, and IV glucose, and regular feeding.   But what we weren't told is that what that did to his diabetes is made it uncontrollable.

We have brought him home for the weekend, according to Dr J, to say goodbye, to get or last cuddles and loves in, because she believes Keito is just giving up.

But when we brought him home, he demanded to be fed, and even though he only ate half of the cat food we gave him, he chowed down on the fresh roasted chicken I gave him.  This morning, it was the same routine, my legs swung out of bed, and he was there snogging my toes, meowing, following me into the bathroom, pestering me while I was... umm sitting to pet him, causing him to slide all over the tile floor.

He then followed me out to the kitchen, demanding to be fed, ate about half of the food that was given, but two hours later ate some more.  Then I got some cuddle time with him. Relaxing, purring and drooling.

He's not ready to do, no matter what Dr J thinks or said.  I'm hoping for the best though, but preparing for the worst, in case this bright behavior of his is just the final spark of the loving being  that is our beloved Keito.