I know this sounds gross, but it works.

If because of over load of drool because of the medication, or just difficultly in his picking up something to eat, I dump the bits of beef into a paper towel, and blot the slobber off of them, and wipe dish, replace beef bits and he eats them all. And Dr M did say the length of time left is linked to his being able to eat.  #felinecancersucks

I feel as if I have been awake for days

It was an emotional day. We found out that Meloxicam is Loki's best course at this time. It will reduce the swelling of the ulcer, and kill the pain.  It's working if his wanting to be fed several times a day since being on a regular dose schedule. He's also been climbing up on me for a cuddle, which he hadn't done in weeks.

I had been holding it together since Loki's cancer diagnosis. I lost that 'tough stuff' shell yesterday. Just saying his name and the tears started. Once they started, it was really difficult to get them under control, so I didn't try. My body feel so sore. Amazing how much of your musculature is involved in crying.

That's about all. I am going to take it easy today. Not that I really have a choice. Just doing the dishes makes me want to take a nap

The shock of Loki's cancer diagnosis has passed... sort of

We can't go reading more than what is normal cat behavior as something nefarious. 

Yes, we knew at 16 years old, our time with Loki is limited, but we didn't expect the time to be so cruelly pushed forward in such a manner.  The thing is, he doesn't know he's ill. And for as long as he is not in pain, still doing all things a cat does, he will be loved and cared for.

Anyone with a pet knows that someday, that pet will break their hearts. I even said it to "Arty" (his name before he earned his name) when I first cradled him in my arms. "One day, you're going to break my heart."  Not broken yet, but there are cracks. And they hurt.

I think we might be living over a radioactive site

I bring Loki to the vet for a dental scaling, and am rewarded with the knowledge that he has aggressive non-squamous cell cancer under his tongue, not just an infected cut as the vet thought it was.

I am fucking gutted over this.  Yes, I know Loki is 16 years old, but he is HEALTHY. Heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, all the things that are supposed to start failing are as healthy as a 10 year old cat. What's the fucking good of being healthy?

I have no idea how the young'uns are going to handle it. Groo and Drax have glommed onto Loki, as he has never done anything to hurt them, and has even licked their faces clean. 

Dr M said it's just bad luck to have 4 cats, with 4 different kinds of terminal cancer.

We will have to play this by ear. Since this tumor can't be totally removed, how about removing part of it when it makes eating difficult?  I know that would be a stop gap, but as long as he's eating, sleeping, grooming, purring, just being a cat, I want to give him as much quality time as I can, and me enough time to try to come to terms with this... if I ever will.

Booked Trance for an ultrasound

Wing was on pins and needles the night before. Still was when he took her in at her 11am appointment.

Results: She's free of any other growths/tumors.  Wing pretty much sagged with relief, and said "YES!"  Now, she will go in for scans every 3 to 6 months. IOWs, as soon as her fur grows back, it had to get shaved again

And the hits just keep coming

Loki's lump was sent to pathology. Results aren't the same as the last lump. It isn't a lipoma, but soft tissue sarcoma. The vet said there was no way to get 'clean margins' as it was on his ankle.

Vet said it would grow back quickly, too.  He said the only way to make sure all the sarcoma is gone is to amputate his back leg. He's 15, almost 16 years old. I don't know if he would recover from it.

4 Cats with different types of cancer. Vets keep saying it's 'bad luck'.  My heart feels like it's breaking.

I don't know if I can go through this again

Trance and Loki both had lumps removed a week ago Saturday. Samples were sent off to pathology.

Trance has hemangiosarcoma (HSA) is a cancer that arises from malignant blood vessel cells and is an uncommon cancer in cats. It is a very aggressive cancer that spreads (metastasis) early and is associated with a poor prognosis. The underlying cause of HSA is unknown. Vet said it was just bad luck, because it's usually in dogs, not cats. And if it is in cats it usually in light furred outdoor cats, and Trance is a dark furred indoor cat.

I haven't been able to completely stop crying. First it was Ziggy, then Keito, and now Trance? Three different types of cancer, each of them 'bad luck'? I feel as if my heart is being crushed.

I know it bites into their profits to pay out

But I'm really pissed off at PetPlan insurance right now.

Loki had bad breath. Upon exam, it turned out he had an oral infection, and ONE, just ONE of the steps to clear him of the infection was to have under the gum line near the infected areas cleaned.  He was lucky, he didn't lose any teeth. The other steps were to give him antibiotics, and to 'clean his mouth', if I could without getting bitten.. too much.

However, according to PetPlan, this wasn't a cure for an oral infection, oh no no no!  It was 'a preventative dental scaling'. 
I have sent this to them. Not that I actually expect them to do the right thing.

Consider this angry feedback.  I've been a client of yours for 12+ years. 

My cat, Loki had bad breath. Upon exam, it turned out he had an oral infection, and ONE, just ONE of the steps to clear him of the infection was to have under the gum line near the infected areas cleaned.  He was lucky, he didn't lose any teeth. The other steps were to give him antibiotics, and to 'clean his mouth', if I could without getting bitten.. too much.

However, according to PetPlan, this wasn't a cure for an oral infection, oh no no no!  It was 'a preventative dental scaling'.  That was your 'loophole'. You consider any and gum/teeth treatment as preventative. If it was preventative, he would have had it done without me submitting a claim, just like I did with Ziggy, and Keito, Loki and Trance over the years.  But this was a needed MEDICAL procedure to CURE an infection.

Don't bother calling me, because I know you will just give me the same excuse, that it was preventative.  And my reply is the same: If it was preventative, he wouldn't have had an oral infection.

I miss you.

I miss you. I catch myself watching and waiting for you to come out of your hidey-hole in the closest.  Or waiting for you to come into the bathroom when I'm 'busy', to demand pats and pets. Looking for you in the window, 'solar charging'.

I miss the feel of your light landing on the bed, and the delicate way you would start walking up my foot, ankle, leg, hip, side, to sit on my arm/shoulder to bat and paff me on the cheek, or nose. Or to gently bite my cheek, purring so hard
. 
I miss you peeking at me over the curtain, meowing because it was "Time to eat!".  I miss that when you were standing at the side door, you would look at my reflection, right into my eyes, and know that was me, meow to be let out to sit on your cushion. I miss you knocking on the door to be let back in. I miss you meeping at me when I said "Echo, bedroom light on" thinking I was talking to you.

I miss how you never left my side when I was sick, or would stay with me after I got home from being at the hospital, and how you would let me 'cry in your fur' when I was down.

I miss you in a myriad of small ways, that has left a hole in me, that will take a long time to heal.

I miss you.

#keito

Silver linings aren't always great

Had the MRI on my left knee after an exam by Mr S (osteo surgeon)

My silver lining is this: if it wasn't for the lack of sensitivity/feeling in my left leg because of spinal surgery 9+ years ago and the nerve damage occurring when the disc collapsed, requiring said surgery, I would be in considerable pain.

You see, my left knee is bone on bone, with the small exception of an itty bitty piece of meniscus on the outside left of the knee. The weight bearing inside right of the knee.. it's gone.   I also have nothing but serous fluid behind my knee cap.  Yup, I need another knee replacement.

So, my 'silver lining' is preventing me from feeling pain.  Mr S said I would know when it's time.  Right now, I can get around without much of a problem. And since I am still struggling with the nerve pain, and recovery from the surgery for the compartment syndrome, I'm rather grateful for my dead-ish feeling leg.

On happy/sad news, I got a stainless steel bracelet for "Keito's Heart Pendant".   I also had his fur filled pendant engraved with a small ornate K and Ziggy's fur filled pendant engraved with an equally ornate Z.  I'm still crying about the loss of Ziggy and Keito.  Last week, I got tired of waiting for the mythical "time" to be found to help me, so dug a hole in the back yard, sprinkled some of both Keito and Ziggy's ashes in it, and planted a young rosemary shrub.  I cried my eyes out afterward.  I miss them more than I thought I would, especially Keito. 

Keito is home

I've placed the toy mice he would hoard, and the laser pointer that gave him so many hours of play time trying to catch the red bug next to his urn.  My heart is both breaking and numb at the same time. 

RIP Keito

Keito, my 'babykitty', who I have had since he was 5 weeks old, is gone. We helped him cross the rainbow bridge at 11:38pm, October 5, 2019.

This morning is the first time I haven't greeted by him. I wasn't followed into the bathroom, my glasses ear pieces weren't snogged and chewed on, my fingers weren't licked and nibbled on, and my jewelry/watch cheek rubbed on.  I miss his sound, his silky soft fur, and his calm loving personality.

He was mine and I was his.  I feel as if I've had a limb removed, or a big chunk of my heart.  I think part of me has died inside as well.

Keito, two plus weeks post op

He's definitely put some weight back on. He no longer has bony face/cheeks.  Also, his back doesn't feel like a stegosaurus, meaning weight gain. Called South Street Vet to postpone Keito's fructosamine test, as he was at the vet overnight a few times the past month, and his BGLs were fine.  Since we are concentrating on his having Chemo, the fructosamine test can wait.

Ziggy still has her cough, but it's not as severe.  The Bisolvon works to break up the mucus, but turns her into a very sleepy cat.  And when that happens Wing wrings his hands in worry.  Today, Ziggy has only had one coughing episode, and it was over in less than a minute.  If she has another, we will dose her with the Bisolvon, and she will end up sleeping the night through.  As long as she isn't in any discomfort, is eating, drinking, and doing other cat things, she will stay with us.  We know time is limited, but we will love her as long as she is with us.

Ziggy is back home from the vet, and the news isn't good.

She has lung cancer, more than likely already seeded from when she had mammary cancer. There is a silver lining to it because of the type it is. She isn't in any pain or distress, still eating and "Catting". She just won't have the breath to do a lot of running around, or other aerobic activities.

It will get worse, but there's no real time scale, as it took a year for it to even become noticeable. Vet said months. He said she could prove him a liar and last out another year.

EDIT: He did say this is probably the worst time of year for this, too because of the cold and damp. Well, we will make sure she stays warm and cozy.

Whatever time our girl Ziggy has, we will make it quality of life.

No stiff upper lip here.

Our girl Ziggy is at the vet, where she will get xrays first thing in the morning.  The vet is concerned that the cancer she had last year, has metastasized.  It was something we were told could happen.

Regardless of the results tomorrow, we will do what is best for Ziggy. We gave her an extra year by treating the cancer last year. I'm a blubbering mess right now.

Oh, forgot to mention this;

Spoke to the vet about all our cats demanding an extra feed as the weather is getting colder. And what to do regarding Keito.  Seeing as he is on glargine (single daily dose, slow release insulin) and scheduled feeding, what do we do when he really wants more to eat because of the change of seasons.

Great news is this: as long as it's high quality protein, he can have more.  So, we stocked up on small cans of store brand tuna in spring water, which the vet said was good to supplement his feeding as the weather gets colder. It's things with sugars/grains/carbs in it that has to be avoided.

That's one

Today, renewal of Ziggy's pet insurance policy arrived.  Soon now, Keito, Loki and Trance's will arrive.   It's worth it.

Visited Keito at Murdoch Vet Hospital

And he's feeling much better.  Still not ready to be discharged and come home, but so much more active, smoochie, and alert.  He snuggled with me and gave me such a hard headboop it hurt my forehead. I didn't mind in the least.

Came home and took off the hoodie I was wearing and gave it to the other purrkids to sniff and check out. Loki is now relaxed on top of the pet tower, and Trance is sleeping on the hoodie now.  Ziggy is still Ziggy. :D

A suggestion I sent to PetPlan insurance

Here's hoping I get a reply.

One of our cats is currently in the Veterinary Hospital. The reason I am writing this isn't about coverage, as we have it, but the payment arrangements.

Now I know that too often veterinary practices get stiffed on what they are owed, and that there are unscrupulous people making false claims. however, I am not one of those.

I don't want to skip on necessary treatment my moggie needs, but the credit card is having fits.

Then after he comes home, I get to submit the claim, and then wait.

I have had great experience with your claims department, so please do not view this as complaint on that. But is there some way that PetPlan could come up with something like HBF or Medicare card? That we pay the gap, and PetPlan pays directly to the vet instead of this 4 step method of paying the vet, submitting the claim, waiting, and the you processing it?

Thank you Sandra Chung

No go :(

Vet called... Keito's bladder re-obstructed, although not as severely as the catheter went in much easier. It was a mucus blockage rather than the hard one, meaning the left over of infection combined with inflammation.

Also, since he hasn't eaten since Friday, feeding tube will be necessary to prevent him from losing condition.

The good news is when cath re-inserted, urine totally clear of blood.

He was given a bath, a blowdry and brushing which he seemed to enjoy.

The bill is making me wince.  Yes, we will get a goodly amount of it rebated, but we have to pay it first.