The Lord of the Manor has passed

Loki, my beautiful cat, has crossed the rainbow bridge. We took him to the vet this evening, in hopes that some antibiotics and pain meds would ease his discomfort for a little while longer, but alas, that wasn't meant to be.

The cancer had spread very rapidly and was now over the back of his tongue. It was only because I asked him that he ate yesterday. That was his last 'rally'. The sarcoma was not only infected by necrotic. All there would be left for Loki was slow, painful starvation. I made the decision, as much as my heart and soul screamed for me to take him home with me just for a few more days.

We were given a room. I combed him into blissful relaxation, and waved for the vet to enter when she ever so gently knocked.  The 'sleep' shot... it wasn't even halfway emptied and his head fell into my hand. I cupped it until the rest of it was injected. 

He has no more pain now, but I am shattered.  I want my imperious Lord of the Manor, on my desk, demanding to be brushed. 

If only love could actually have healed.

Trance is gone.

Vet said it looks as if she had a new hemangiosarcoma mass in her liver that ruptured, and she bled internally. We were told this might happen, and we wouldn't know until it was too late. We didn't know. And it was too late.

Photo taken two days ago.

Rest in the arms of Bast.

Booked Trance for an ultrasound

Wing was on pins and needles the night before. Still was when he took her in at her 11am appointment.

Results: She's free of any other growths/tumors.  Wing pretty much sagged with relief, and said "YES!"  Now, she will go in for scans every 3 to 6 months. IOWs, as soon as her fur grows back, it had to get shaved again

I don't know if I can go through this again

Trance and Loki both had lumps removed a week ago Saturday. Samples were sent off to pathology.

Trance has hemangiosarcoma (HSA) is a cancer that arises from malignant blood vessel cells and is an uncommon cancer in cats. It is a very aggressive cancer that spreads (metastasis) early and is associated with a poor prognosis. The underlying cause of HSA is unknown. Vet said it was just bad luck, because it's usually in dogs, not cats. And if it is in cats it usually in light furred outdoor cats, and Trance is a dark furred indoor cat.

I haven't been able to completely stop crying. First it was Ziggy, then Keito, and now Trance? Three different types of cancer, each of them 'bad luck'? I feel as if my heart is being crushed.

Sometimes, just the little things

I was getting ready for a shower, with Loki meowing almost non-stop. He was in a tizzy that I was going to go into the dreaded 'rain closet'. AGAIN!

So, I'm in the shower, listening to Loki's almost operatic meowing for about 5 minutes. As I was putting on my terrycloth robe, he yowled, ran up to me, and would not let me leave the bathroom until he was certain I had survived the rain closet, and that he personally 'dried off' my foot and leg. 

After I passed his inspection, I was allowed to leave the bathroom and to wander around the house. :)

Yesterday, I cleaned out "Ziggy's Corner".

I had been putting it off because it felt like I was erasing her. But Ziggy can never be erased, or forgotten.

I moved some of her things, and got into the corner behind the footstool. And in the corner I found at least 20 small batteries. AAs, AAAs, single use, rechargeable.
The little wench had been hoarding them! I laughed through the tears as I cleared out her 'treasure trove'.
Now we know why she was always with her butt in the air, on the edge of the footstool, rummaging around in the corner.
What I didn't realize how much having just that much of her history with us cleared away would hurt today.  Finding her toys, some with her fur and scent still on them.
I miss her... and I miss Keito. But I didn't know I'd miss them this much.  Maybe it's because losing two in a month to the day was a bit to take.

Silver linings aren't always great

Had the MRI on my left knee after an exam by Mr S (osteo surgeon)

My silver lining is this: if it wasn't for the lack of sensitivity/feeling in my left leg because of spinal surgery 9+ years ago and the nerve damage occurring when the disc collapsed, requiring said surgery, I would be in considerable pain.

You see, my left knee is bone on bone, with the small exception of an itty bitty piece of meniscus on the outside left of the knee. The weight bearing inside right of the knee.. it's gone.   I also have nothing but serous fluid behind my knee cap.  Yup, I need another knee replacement.

So, my 'silver lining' is preventing me from feeling pain.  Mr S said I would know when it's time.  Right now, I can get around without much of a problem. And since I am still struggling with the nerve pain, and recovery from the surgery for the compartment syndrome, I'm rather grateful for my dead-ish feeling leg.

On happy/sad news, I got a stainless steel bracelet for "Keito's Heart Pendant".   I also had his fur filled pendant engraved with a small ornate K and Ziggy's fur filled pendant engraved with an equally ornate Z.  I'm still crying about the loss of Ziggy and Keito.  Last week, I got tired of waiting for the mythical "time" to be found to help me, so dug a hole in the back yard, sprinkled some of both Keito and Ziggy's ashes in it, and planted a young rosemary shrub.  I cried my eyes out afterward.  I miss them more than I thought I would, especially Keito. 

Yes, funeral arrangements for our beloved cat

Have made arrangements for Ziggy's remains to be cremated and placed in an appropriate urn. Will have some of her ashes sealed in a locket, and some of her fur also sealed in another locket. Some of her ashes will be placed in a lined velvet bag, which will be buried in her favorite spot in the yard.
 
This was Ziggy before she was ill, and this is how I want to remember her.

Thank you, Lawnswood, for all your assistance.

Ziggy is gone

At 10:17pm, September 4th, 2019, Ziggy was helped across the rainbow bridge.  She had been rallying but she took a sudden down turn, was laboring to breathe.  Took her to emergency Vet, and ultra sound showed her cancer had progressed to the point that it was only the fresh O2 feed keeping her oxygenated.  Move the O2 and she would start gasping with her mouth open again.
It was time.
We made the heartbreaking choice, while she was purring, alert and calm, to help her cross.  We all spent some time with her, and when she was given a relaxing sedative, her head drooped, and she stopped breathing. She had been breathing from sheer force of her will. When she was given the sleep shot, it took took less than 2 second for her heart to stop. She was ready. 
We gave her g’bye cuddles, whispered in her ear how much we loved her.
Heartbroken now. I see her things, like her basket, empty.  I’m going to have to do something to remove these reminders, or I will be crying every few minutes.

Ziggy had a seizure

Ziggy just had an episode of thrashing around, as if in a panic. Then she was gasping for air, as if she couldn't breathe. I managed to get her untangled from the computer cords, as this happened while she was on the towel covered box on the battery back up.

She ok, or as ok as she can be right now, but we needed to have her seen by the vet.

Vet said it was an idiopathic seizure. And since it's not happening all the time, and that she is bright and alert (even though with all our feeding her she's still losing weight) and eating, drinking, walking around, using her litter box, she will be with us for a while longer.
When we got home, I warmed a plate, cut up some beef on the warm plate so it wouldn't cook, and carried it into the room where she was. She poked her head out of the top of the basket and YOWLED to be fed. Ate everything, and tube treat! Yeah, she will be here for a while longer. Just weeks, but it will have to be enough.

When  she can't get around on her own, or starts soiling herself, and refusing to eat anything.... then it will be 'that time'.

Keito, two plus weeks post op

He's definitely put some weight back on. He no longer has bony face/cheeks.  Also, his back doesn't feel like a stegosaurus, meaning weight gain. Called South Street Vet to postpone Keito's fructosamine test, as he was at the vet overnight a few times the past month, and his BGLs were fine.  Since we are concentrating on his having Chemo, the fructosamine test can wait.

Ziggy still has her cough, but it's not as severe.  The Bisolvon works to break up the mucus, but turns her into a very sleepy cat.  And when that happens Wing wrings his hands in worry.  Today, Ziggy has only had one coughing episode, and it was over in less than a minute.  If she has another, we will dose her with the Bisolvon, and she will end up sleeping the night through.  As long as she isn't in any discomfort, is eating, drinking, and doing other cat things, she will stay with us.  We know time is limited, but we will love her as long as she is with us.

Vet report on Keito

Vet report on Keito - the vet was very pleased at Keito's recovery. Not only has the surgical site healed perfectly, our moggie has put on some weight. He should be seeing how much he's been catching up on missed meals.

Regarding the diagnosis of lymphoma: There are three treatments.

We could just treat the symptoms, which would suppress them a while, and it will come raging back in 3 to 6 months.

Another option: there is a treatment for small cell lymphoma. It does work, but it's toxic. Keito doesn't have small cell lymphoma. So gave that one the flick.

Third option: It's the most used one. It has a 25% chance of cure (wishful thinking) and a 75% chance of a 1 to 3 (or longer)  year remission. The protocol is given by weight, so his low weight isn't an issue. AND because the lymphoma was caught early, gives him a damned good chance of remission. We have chosen option three. The vet said I have reasonable expectations. Sure, a cure would be great, but that is a slim chance. He said remission is very likely.

Also discussed Ziggy and her coughing. We were given the name of an OTC cough remedy that would work to break up the mucus. It's not a cure, but it will help her breathing. As long as she eats, does other cat things, and her gums are pink and her ears are pink and warm, she will stay with us.

Ziggy Update (and other sundries)

Ziggy seems to be holding her own.  Instead of feeding her twice a day, been giving her small meals throughout the day.  Still pinning hopes on the CBD oil arriving soon enough to be of use to her. I gave her a catnip leaf, and she enjoyed it. Got her to eat a bit more, and she's resting comfortably now on two heated wheat bags.

Keito:  he's had his course of antibiotics.  His eating is still hit and miss, meaning sometimes we have to follow him and put the dish of food in front of him to make him eat.  Have scheduled an appointment for him to have a glucose curve test, 7am tomorrow morning.

I know pets are ephemeral, and live faster than we humans, but having two ill, one with a terminal illness, at the same time, is breaking my heart.   I feel so helpless.

I've been getting intermittent shooting pains down the back of my thigh. Seeing as I had a spinal fusion, it's not sciatica.  Could be that I missed a few doses of my dystonia meds, and stress has been on the high side the past few weeks.  *sigh* 

Ziggy is back home from the vet, and the news isn't good.

She has lung cancer, more than likely already seeded from when she had mammary cancer. There is a silver lining to it because of the type it is. She isn't in any pain or distress, still eating and "Catting". She just won't have the breath to do a lot of running around, or other aerobic activities.

It will get worse, but there's no real time scale, as it took a year for it to even become noticeable. Vet said months. He said she could prove him a liar and last out another year.

EDIT: He did say this is probably the worst time of year for this, too because of the cold and damp. Well, we will make sure she stays warm and cozy.

Whatever time our girl Ziggy has, we will make it quality of life.

No stiff upper lip here.

Our girl Ziggy is at the vet, where she will get xrays first thing in the morning.  The vet is concerned that the cancer she had last year, has metastasized.  It was something we were told could happen.

Regardless of the results tomorrow, we will do what is best for Ziggy. We gave her an extra year by treating the cancer last year. I'm a blubbering mess right now.