I keep trying to start things

But my ambition seems to have done a runner.

My left hand isn't finished healing, even though it's been a month.  It was a very deep cut.  It would feel better if I would stop forgetting, and picking things up with it, or leaning on it. Of course I am left hand dominant, so that's he biggest reason I keep forgetting.

We are making travel plans for later this year.  I hope I'm up for it. My physio and exercise therapist are doing they damnedest to make sure I ready and able. 

Also did something I hadn't done in years. I uploaded something to my photo/art sales site.

Ever since Dr H changed one of my medications, the weight is finally coming off. The new meds don't make you lose weight, but unlike the old ones, they don't PREVENT weight loss. Ahhh, the chemical experiment that is my life.

Two weeks since cortisone harpooning.

I have noticed some improvement, although Mr S said he hoped for more.  Because he's retired from the surgical practice, he has referred me to another osteo surgeon. 

Yanno, I am not looking forward to this, to have yet another doctor presume that I must be stuffing my face with ice cream and cake, sitting on my ass doing nothing. 

As much as I dread it

Tomorrow, I go for my ultrasound guided injection into my left knee joint.  Because right now, even icing and pain meds are working. If fewking HURTS.  Even keeping my leg in the knee brace isn't helping.  Move the leg, sharp stabbing pain, don't move the leg, continuous low level throbbing pain.

Why does everything that will 'fix' me have to hurt like hell?

Mini Whine

For the past several years, I seems to be in a constant state of 'recovering' from something or another.  And I'm so tired of it.  Recovered (and rehab) from a spinal fusion, recovery from gall bladder surgery, non- recovery from hyper extended knee, recovering from a mass removed from my back and the time it took for it close up,  recovering from total knee replacement surgery, recovering from a car accident, recovering from pneumonia. 

Sunday, a root canaled tooth sheered off, and I had to have the roots removed as it couldn't be repaired. Now recovering from tooth extraction, and look like a chipmunk on one side of my face and it hurts like hell.

Oh, not to mention the FND still throwing out the occasional seizure.

I'm tired. I'm tired of not being able to DO.  I'm tired of being afraid to move as it could (and often did) trigger a seizure. I'm tired of the pain, but I can pretty much deal with that, but it's EVERYWHERE lately.  And I'm tired of having to stay medicated to make some pretense at living.

It's been at least 3 years of full on suck

There was a mass on my left shoulder. It got all inflamed, and scheduled to have it removed.  The surgery for that went ok, but it left a deep deep hole in my back. It took over 9 months for it to fill and heal. 

About a month after it had healed, I tripped over some shoes someone left in a doorway, hyper extending my knee.. or so I thought.  After months of pain, and it not healing,  I had an MRI. Turned out I had shredded what was left of the meniscus and had bone on bone grinding. 

Tried two synovial treatments, 5 months apart, and although they did work, my body broke them down too fast, leaving me limping badly. 

Total knee replacement surgery was only option.   I had a few set backs, from over doing things during the recovery process. A possible case of compartment syndrome (scheduled test for it), but over all it was going great. I was just starting to be able to DO things again.

Until last Sunday.  A L Plater panicked, stomped on his accelerator, and t-boned us on the passenger side.  I was in the passenger seat. 

Whiplash, mind concussion, and a swollen bruised left knee. Fairly sure I didn't screw up the new knee, but will have it checked out next week. Had to cancel the test for compartment syndrome, as I can't walk on a treadmill without limping, which will not work for the test. Has been rescheduled.  Pain from my eyebrows down to my ankle.

I must have pissed off the "Fcuk up Fairy" big time, but I have no clue as to how or why. 

Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate

More pre-op things.  Visited a physio to get some pre-op exercises to help stretch, and to see what sort of mobility/stability my current joint can handle.  Umm, ow?

Then off to the EKG.  I have a heart! Who would have thunk it? Normal sinus rhythm.

Off to radiology.  Enter the folding, bending, spindling.  To get clear xrays (yes, plural) of my knee joint, my leg had to be twisted into position. To say that hurt would be understatement.  Do this for about an hour.  Then xrays of the spacer between my vertebrae (4, from different angles), and a chest xrays (two).

I'm quite sore now... and wonder if I'm going to glow in the dark!

Some of the Pre-Op tests done

Blood drawn to check for Hep B and C (both will come back negative) HIV (also will come back negative), throat and nasal swabs (not fun) to test for MRSA, and one other liquid test in a little jar (I shall leave that to your imagination).

A few days off, then off for EKG, and Xrays. 

If there had been any doubt about the decision for knee surgery

This morning I saw sparkling water drops on some pretty purple blossoms, and I noticed both my small Geraldton Wax seedlings (still called seedlings until they reach 1" across the base) were in danger of being swamped by weeds.

I pushed the camera out of the way, pulled the weeds out about 2ft diameter around them both, making sure to not shake off the morning water droplets.  I then proceeded to take macro photos of the blossoms.  I stood up from my squat, and it was all I could do to hobble back into the house.

I know, I know... we are supposed to suffer for our art, but dayam, my knee was killing me! Nope, no doubt now.

Geraldton Wax Blossom

Now I know..

When I get up in the morning, before I get out of bed, I get one of my knee compression bandages and slip it on my right knee.  It makes getting around a bit easier.  However, wearing it all day seemed to cause my knee to hurt worse at the end of the day. I think it's because the compression bandage doesn't prevent the lower leg from going too far forward or too far back, but I digress.

Got up this morning, put on the compression bandage, got the moggies fed and watered, Keito given his insulin injection.  Time for me to use all the hot water for a change aka got a shower.  Walked around in terry robe, no knee compression bandage.  After about an hour, I found myself holding doorways and leaning on a wall. Looked at my knee, and saw it was a bit puffy. 

Back to the mid-thigh to mid-calf leg/knee brace.  Yeah, knee feels better, but I feel a bit chilly, as the brace is worn over leggings. Leggings aren't the warmest thing to be wearing in cold rainy weather. 

Now I know for sure.  When at all possible, put the big rig on.  

Here, have a clue

There are some people that don't know what's going on with my knees (yes, plural) but with my right one being much much worse.  I have arthritis in my knees, it's a family trait. But, when I was 18 I injured my right knee, and about 18months after that, I developed degenerative arthritis in it.  It's been giving me trouble off and on for 40 years. My right knee has a head start on the left.

An accident last October pushed the remaining meniscus out, turning it from being an annoyance, to a borderline crippling injury. I have NO cartilage between my femur and tibia/fibula. None. That means I had bone on bone grinding when I was walking around, for months before I got to see a specialist.

Yes, I have had two rounds of drain the fluid, and synovial injections. I am on a 'diet' of anti-inflammatory and Panadiene Forte (as needed) It has made it possible for me to do normal daily activities.  HOWEVER.. walking for 30 or more minutes on uneven paving, or a walkway that slants down towards the street is a tad uncomfortable, the way giving birth is a slight pressure. 

I'm lucky if I get 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep at night. It's more like I take 2 naps at night, which means my ass is dragging the next day.  Rinse and repeat since October LAST YEAR!

I could take the Panadiene Forte more often, but I really dislike the head packed in cotton feeling it gives me. So, I walk slow. And it f&$%ing hurts to do so... read above, about the bone on bone grinding. And my left knee is causing trouble because I am favoring my right leg. My left leg, which is still partially paralyzed/unresponsive because of nerve damage from disc collapse, isn't handling the extra work very well, and THAT knee is starting to get worse.

You know that "On a scale of 1 to 10" for pain measurement?  I'm on a constant 3 at the very least, to "wanting to rock back and forth crying". Add a good sized dollop of depression into the mix, and you might have an inkling of what I am going through. So, when I mention I walked for 30 mins to get somewhere, your flippant comment and eyeroll makes me want to punch you square in the face, or just scream at you.. but I do neither.  But I do wish you could feel what I'm going through for just a few weeks, see if you'd be so cavalier and flippant afterward.

Follow up with Dr S

First off, ow. The exam to see if the 2nd SynVisc injection is working hurts like hell.  Pull, push, bend, flex. Check to see if there is side to side movement.   Even with the swelling I had on Sunday (furniture seats are 'fashionably' low to the floor. Kind of feels like squatting, instead of sitting.

Dr S said swelling is down, side to side movement is reduced.  I told him how I sit when the knee starts feeling spongey (that means there is fluid building up again). And I've stopped trying to keep up with people who can walk faster.  I can walk faster, for a while, but then I will pay for it big time the following week.

I go back and see Dr S in a month for another follow up.

I've got good news, and bad news

Good news: the problem isn't fatal.

Bad news: I might have been walking around on a torn meniscus for the past two months. Have to schedule an MRI to confirm, but Dr H is fairly certain of his prognosis.  Will get MRI results and see what to do from there.

At least I didn't wait like Wing did, for 4+ years before seeing to it, so won't have developed arthritis in the joint.