The mouse is back on the treadmill

After returning from Christmas Island, I had a week 'off' (aka getting laundry done, getting things unpacked and put away) . Had physio visit with Simon the Sadist.  He said he could tell I had been rather physically active.  Two days later, had exercise therapy session with Alaina. And yes, I was back on a treadmill, sitting and standing with 10kg weight, and using the standing 'rower'. To be sure, not all at the same time, but after 30 minute of it all, I was short of breath, and sweating.

Went to bed, stiff, woke up stiff and sore.

I do this because it's good for me. Keep telling myself that, and I might start believing it.

I keep trying to start things

But my ambition seems to have done a runner.

My left hand isn't finished healing, even though it's been a month.  It was a very deep cut.  It would feel better if I would stop forgetting, and picking things up with it, or leaning on it. Of course I am left hand dominant, so that's he biggest reason I keep forgetting.

We are making travel plans for later this year.  I hope I'm up for it. My physio and exercise therapist are doing they damnedest to make sure I ready and able. 

Also did something I hadn't done in years. I uploaded something to my photo/art sales site.

Ever since Dr H changed one of my medications, the weight is finally coming off. The new meds don't make you lose weight, but unlike the old ones, they don't PREVENT weight loss. Ahhh, the chemical experiment that is my life.

Oh jeeze

I have a week off from my exercise therapy due to me attempting to carve a chunk out of my hand on Christmas day. Saw her yesterday, and she made up for lost time, and I wish my legs belonged to someone else. To say they hurt would be an understatement. Hot shower, and some ibuprofen to the rescue.

Wing has been spending his last few days of vaycay taking care of the yard. It's so tidy I could host a party... that's if I could hold anything.

Also saw physiotherapist, and I seem to be improving his vocabulary. He asked how I was feeling, and I said "an overwhelming feeling of ennui." He had to look up the word ennui.

I keep up the mantra

Because it's good for me, because it's good for me.

Tough session at exercise therapy today. Treadmill pushed to not quite running, but walking at one helluva clip. 
Because it's good for me.

Then, it's was off to the weights.  I really don't like lapping the gym while holding onto two 4kg weights. I busted my ass losing a lot of weight, so lugging 8kgs of weight at the end of my arms isn't a whole helluva lot of fun.
Because it's good for me.

Then push-up, followed by lifting weights straight up over my head.
Because it's good for me.

Gawd, I wish I had a spa tub.

The weekly grind

And if only it meant what coffee we chose, instead of this shit-show that is currently my life. Wing has decided to push up our photo jaunt from next year, to next month. So, instead of having 6 months to get myself physically ready, got about six weeks

Two exercise therapy sessions a week, one physio session every two weeks. I keep working with the weights, including walking with them, at home. What this means is I'm in an almost constant state of ouch. Hence the use of the term 'shit-show'. I'm hoping that all this effort will pay off in the short and long run.

Why do I keep doing this?!

Why?  Because, in the long run, it will be good for me. But right now, today, after seeing Meg, then Simon (exercise and physio therapists) I feel as if I have been dropping in a food processor equipped with blunt blades.

Humor is an excellent way to pass a painful ordeal

I thought Simon the Sadist was a tough physio-therapist. That isn't anything compared to him as an exercise therapist.  As an exercise therapist, he makes you push yourself, but not to the point you cause damage. 

Picture this: while getting ready to do a session on the reformer, of which there are two of them, our typical exchange.

Simon: Ok, we're going to work on the abs today.
Me: Sure, you may proceed.
Simon: Alright, we can both do them.
Me: (looking down at one of the reformers) I don't think we'll both fit.

(I get myself settled and start doing the prescribed exercise)

Simon: How many was that?
Me: I don't know. Keeping count is YOUR job!

(climbing off reformer, and there is NO graceful way of doing so, trust me)

Simon: So, what's you plans for today?
(I make grand hand gesture pointing towards him)
Simon: And the rest of the week?
(repeat first gesture)

He had me do some laps around the place, hold 3kg weights in each hand.

My hand are so sore today, along with the abs running down along the ribs... and my shoulders.  He needs to pad the shoulder stops, because I wear an anti-gravity device (aka bra) and those stops really make the straps dig in.

Early to bed, Early to rise

Doesn't do a damned thing. 

I went to bed early, because I had an appointment to see my exercise therapist.  I groggily get up, manage to get dressed. Staggered off to get first cup of coffee in the morning. In between sips of coffee, got my hair brushed and braided. Readied by bottle of cold water, and when 8am rolled around, we hit the road.

I get there, and get asked why I am there. I tell the 'receptionist in training' that I have an 8:30am session with Meg.  She said no I didn't. Uhh, I have been seeing Meg on Monday and Friday for the past almost 2 months (exception when it was a Wednesday and Friday, because Monday was a holiday.) 

Now, I had/have the card with the appointment times and dates, but I put them on my phone and left the card on my desk.

We get shown the door. I found out the hard way and stress and agitation fires up the old GERD. I came home. Took  photograph of my appointment card, and emailed it to them. By now, I have chewed two antacid tablets.

2 hours later, I get this weak, wishy-washy excuse that Simon, my physiotherapist deleted the appointment. How he has access my exercise therapists' calendar is beyond me.

So, here I am, trying to stay calm. Even took a short nap. But I am still gritting my teeth. If *I* cancelled an appointment without notifying them, I would get charged some fee. But they can do it to ME and I just have to let it slide.

Pardon me if this post is a tad rambling

Or sort of incoherent.

Three days ago, my left calf, and behind my knee, and hamstring, and my annoying fused back started hurting a lot. I wasn't worried, because I had an upcoming visit with the physio, "Simon The Sadist" for a session.

To say my physio session rushed would be an understatement.  Yes, they were trying to clear up all clients before the up coming long holiday, and he, personally, was taking some time off. Good for him, but I felt I had been given the bums' rush. And I was charged $61 for the privilege.

Today, when I got up, I was in worse shape than I was BEFORE session. Tried to do some of my rehab exercises, and for all my efforts, I almost fell over, my knee kept giving out. I left comment on the "PhyApp" regarding it.. before I took something for the pain. Meds I haven't had to use October last year.

Yes, I hurt that f*cking much. With better living through (legal) chemistry, the acute pain is now just a dull ache. I can deal with that.

Another day, another list of aches and pains

Simon the Sadist altered the list of rehab exercises.  I do try to them all every day, but some days are harder than others.  This morning on the stationary bike, I had about 4 rotations of the pedals where the tendons felt as if they were being scraped across jagged rocks.  (#6 on the scale from 1 to 10). I didn't stop, I kept going because I had to. The pain faded, and I managed the full 10 minutes. 

On an aside, I have found two perfect songs for a 10 minute ride. Both are Moody Blues songs. "Nights in White Satin" and "Question".

And in other news, I have decided to become a dual citizen. U.S./Australia.  With the anger in the world today, I don't want to travel on a U.S. passport, even though I have an Australian visa. I am not giving up my U.S. citizenship, but I don't want to be 'stuck' . The good news is because I am an 'old fart', I won't have to sit the Citizenship test, just an interview.

There's physiotherapy

And there is household chores.  Both leave you achey, stiff and sore. From the neck down. But with cleaning up the house, scrubbing, washing, sweeping, you can see progress.

Trying to bridge using my left leg only not only hurts like hell, I can't DO it. Ever since the calcified disc collapsed, and I had a spinal fusion, my left leg has been weak. I can push 120kgs on the leg press with both legs, or with the right leg alone. 25kgs and my knee is stuck on my chest.  If this wasn't the case, I wouldn't have a whole bunch of unused dancing gear.

But, you know something? I feel bad if I let the physiotherapist down.

Taking bets (virtual ones)

Husband and son set up my physio table last night.  So, today, I did the 'bridging' exercise, the lay on back and pull heel as close to the butt as you can, and the cross legs at the ankles, keeping the surgical leg in the back (the left one in this case) and using the right foot to assist, bend the left leg as far back as you can (to discomfort). 

Got done with that, and used the washing machine for balance, slowly shifted weight from the right foot, to the left, and lifting the right foot off the floor, until at least 90% of the weight is on the left foot.  Repeat, but going the other way, from left to right.

Here's where the virtual betting comes in.  Will I:

A: Hop out of bed, ready to start a new day.

B: Groan, and using right heel on side of bed, haul my self to sitting position, kind of glad it's a new day.

C: Groan, try to move, and realize my legs, glutes and abdomen wish it was yesterday, and just stay in bed.

8 weeks post-op

Had session with Hayden the Horrible. I told him I'd had a session with Matt the Torturer five years ago on my right knee, and it lamed me for the better part of the week.  He wanted to know when. (sardonic laugh)

I searched through my blog last night, using different tag. And hurray, I found the exact date. Since I don't have his exact email address at SporTreat, I sent it in as a general message, asking it to be forwarded to Hayden.

Session was good, but as usual, my left leg is really complaining a lot. Got a bit of swelling around the knee. Regardless of that, I did get some good news. Hayden said that he can tell I've 'put the work in' about home exercises and walking. And it shows that I am on the right side of the bell curve, but he won't tell me what it is, because he thinks I'll go "Good enough." and discontinue the exercising/rehab on the leg.

He needs to talk to Matt, or Meg The Merciless.  I don't just up and quit just because something is going right.  If anything, it increases my determination to do what needs to be done, be damned about temporary discomfort. He's sorta new, but after a few more weeks, he will see I am up for challenges to get my leg strong.

And I had almost forgotten what it was like

I had my first appointment with Hayden The Horrible, physioterrorist. And as usual, I hurt more today than I did yesterday. He did find out, as Matt The Torturerer, and Simon The Sadist, I have a high tolerance for pain.

Got a new regimen of exercises, which I did expect. What I didn't expect was to be told to stop using any walking aids if I was walking somewhere I didn't have to worry about how fast I get from place A to place B.  This kind of scares the bejeebus out of me, because we have this HUGE wide open area in the house, where there is nowhere for me to reach out should I start losing my balance, or if my left leg folds, or an ankle decides it wants to roll again.

I have ONE lace up ankle support, but there are issues. First off, I have two ankles. Secondly, if I wear it, my shoes don't fit. I do have some of those elastic type, but they aren't comfortable for a AA heel.  Really digs in painfully after about 2 hours, maximum.

YAY! It's *not* all in my head.

I had a very exacting and precise examination of my left knee, and its surrounds. Here is the prognosis:

S***** has had an MRI scan and orthopaedic review, with the opinion that no surgery is indicated. There are medial meniscal changes as well as knee OA and some signs of anterior knee oedema following her injury on her MRI. She had a local knee cortisone injection which she reports flared her knee for three weeks and provided no overall benefit.

S***** remains very limited in her walking capacity, requiring a walking stick even for short distances. She reports prior to her injury, she was increasing exercise under supervision, losing weight and walking on uneven surfaces without difficulty. *

**** has a combination of local underlying knee pain as well as signs of increased pain sensitisation (including localised sharp hyperalgesia). Her knee strength is mainly limited by pain inhibition. Her antalgic gait is likely also impacting on her recent increase in low back pain.

Got the crutches (uhh yay?) and have been told to use them when walking around outside of the house. Fun fun. Now, I will wait until I hear from Meg The Merciless as to how we shall proceed. And in the meantime, find a pool somewhere, as swimming was one of the recommended things to do.

I hate that scaffold, I really do.

Saw Simon the Sadist today. Remedial massage on thigh, and checked how mobile the knee is. It's like this; I can bed it 130 degrees without any issue. No pain no worry. But straightening it out made me clutch at the edges of the exam table, digging my fingers into it.

Not much can be done until I see Mr S next week. But, Simon did agree with Jace the podiatrist, that half crutches would be better to use than the cane. This way, I take pressure/weight off my right prosthetic knee and heel. Since bending my knee causes the pain, putting weight on my left leg/foot is ok.

Simon has said to wear the scaffold when I am out and about, if I have to do any walking. But at home, or short 'in and out' quick trips.

And again....

Seems when I had the vertically fractured molar remove, the dentist missed a sliver, and it's been currently poking out through my gums. It's sharp, and because of the feeling of something that shouldn't be there, I have taken to putting gauze over it, to stop my tongue from worrying at it.
What I didn't know is that after a while, wet gauze is very abrasive, and is making my gums tender.  Called the dentist last Friday, and will be going in to have it seen to tomorrow morning. *sigh*
Oh, did I mention that on top of enthesopathy , my hip starting hurting. Not the joint, that's fine. Physio that is doing the shockwave treatment on my heel thinks it could be bursitis.  Oh joy.

Part one done

Saw "Meg the Motivator" (afterward, at home, I call her Meg the Merciless!).  Because my heel was taped up in such a fashion, there was no pain, so I sort of overdid it on the weekend and again on Monday. 

No mercy!  Well, a little bit. Was on treadmill for 20 minutes, but a a slightly slower pace than I usually do.  Then off to the "Reformer" (aka pilates machine)  I used to snicker about those things, but I don't any longer! It keeps the spine and hips in proper alignment, so when you do the actions/exercises, it's equal, and helps correct poor posture. Mine poor posture is due to years of a bad disc, and it's subsequent collapse, and having a bad knee.  The realignment isn't fun, or easy, but necessary.

Exhausted, but have to see Dr H, my GP, about getting my anti-seizure meds prescription.  He only gives me two months worth, because of the law.  It's deemed a 'controlled' medication.  Me, I call it the "Three little white tablets a day that keep my body from trying to painfully fold into sharp geometric shapes.  No nap, not yet.

He's back to Simon the Sadist

By his choice, not mine.  He agreed, though, with the logic of the moniker.
  
Logic train: His job is to hurt people (via therapeutic massage). He stabs them with needles. 

He enjoys his job which causes pain = Sadist.

Was rough session, stabbed with needles this on the front and back of this most troublesome of lower legs!  Have new stretching exercises for the plantar fasciitis. Fun! yay. :p

Bummed out today.  Jared's birthday today. He would have been 45.  I wasn't supposed to outlast him.  Just doesn't feel or seem right.

Umm ow?

Physio/Exercise session.  As willing as I am to do these (ask Meg the Motivator aka Meg the Merciless) 

A lot of the pain I am feeling is the exercises and tortures are correcting years worth of bad posture created due to pain.  It's amazing how the human body with adjust to things that aren't quite right.  Have a sore knee, you favor one side, dipping one shoulder down, slightly flexing the spine.  Have a sore back, you hold a position that causes the least amount of pain.

All the things I'm doing at SporTreat id correcting decades of me adjusting to a slowly calcifying disc, its collapse, then right knee going, surgical replacement, then then left knee starting to go.

For now, although I hurt from the neck on down, I am sitting without bowing my shoulders or rounding my back. Both feet are facing the right direction.   Yay?