Loki got a bit of food stuck on his back teeth, and bit down, biting his tongue. Yes, it bled. Then I noticed he's sneezing, and checked him. Sure enough, the yearly sinus infection.
Dr M answered the phone, and I described what had happened, and thankfully, he understood my not wanting to stress Loki out any more than necessary. Have new meds waiting for him.
I know everything we're doing for him is in 'the short term', but at 16 years old, everything is in the short term.
If because of over load of drool because of the medication, or just difficultly in his picking up something to eat, I dump the bits of beef into a paper towel, and blot the slobber off of them, and wipe dish, replace beef bits and he eats them all. And Dr M did say the length of time left is linked to his being able to eat. #felinecancersucks
Or sort of incoherent.
Three days ago, my left calf, and behind my knee, and hamstring, and my annoying fused back started hurting a lot. I wasn't worried, because I had an upcoming visit with the physio, "Simon The Sadist" for a session.
To say my physio session rushed would be an understatement. Yes, they were trying to clear up all clients before the up coming long holiday, and he, personally, was taking some time off. Good for him, but I felt I had been given the bums' rush. And I was charged $61 for the privilege.
Today, when I got up, I was in worse shape than I was BEFORE session. Tried to do some of my rehab exercises, and for all my efforts, I almost fell over, my knee kept giving out. I left comment on the "PhyApp" regarding it.. before I took something for the pain. Meds I haven't had to use October last year.
Yes, I hurt that f*cking much. With better living through (legal) chemistry, the acute pain is now just a dull ache. I can deal with that.
It was an emotional day. We found out that Meloxicam is Loki's best course at this time. It will reduce the swelling of the ulcer, and kill the pain. It's working if his wanting to be fed several times a day since being on a regular dose schedule. He's also been climbing up on me for a cuddle, which he hadn't done in weeks.
I had been holding it together since Loki's cancer diagnosis. I lost that 'tough stuff' shell yesterday. Just saying his name and the tears started. Once they started, it was really difficult to get them under control, so I didn't try. My body feel so sore. Amazing how much of your musculature is involved in crying.
That's about all. I am going to take it easy today. Not that I really have a choice. Just doing the dishes makes me want to take a nap
I went to chop up Loki's food, as his gums are still sore from the dental scaling. Put the cat food in the receptacle, applied stick blender, but just for one second longer than needed. It turn the cubes of cat food into mush. Oops
So, that means one of two things:
1: Beef is tough
2: Turkey is more tender.
We can't go reading more than what is normal cat behavior as something nefarious.
Yes, we knew at 16 years old, our time with Loki is limited, but we didn't expect the time to be so cruelly pushed forward in such a manner. The thing is, he doesn't know he's ill. And for as long as he is not in pain, still doing all things a cat does, he will be loved and cared for.
Anyone with a pet knows that someday, that pet will break their hearts. I even said it to "Arty" (his name before he earned his name) when I first cradled him in my arms. "One day, you're going to break my heart." Not broken yet, but there are cracks. And they hurt.
I bring Loki to the vet for a dental scaling, and am rewarded with the knowledge that he has aggressive non-squamous cell cancer under his tongue, not just an infected cut as the vet thought it was.
I am fucking gutted over this. Yes, I know Loki is 16 years old, but he is HEALTHY. Heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, all the things that are supposed to start failing are as healthy as a 10 year old cat. What's the fucking good of being healthy?
I have no idea how the young'uns are going to handle it. Groo and Drax have glommed onto Loki, as he has never done anything to hurt them, and has even licked their faces clean.
Dr M said it's just bad luck to have 4 cats, with 4 different kinds of terminal cancer.
We will have to play this by ear. Since this tumor can't be totally removed, how about removing part of it when it makes eating difficult? I know that would be a stop gap, but as long as he's eating, sleeping, grooming, purring, just being a cat, I want to give him as much quality time as I can, and me enough time to try to come to terms with this... if I ever will.
