Eye exams aren't fun

I bit the bullet and went to the optometrist for eye exam.  So many times I had bright things shone into my eyes, I ended up with one helluva headache.

My near-sightedness is getting better, but astigmatisms have changed yet again.

No sign of glaucoma, but my cataracts have gone from level 1 to 1+. As I get older they will progress, but I can slow the progress by keeping my eyes shaded, and wearing sunglasses when outdoors.

Strangest thing is Dr R found a scar on the retina of my left eye.  It's good sized, but so far away from the optic nerve, it's almost impossible to see. Gee, thanks new advancement.

Anyhooooo, going to "Recycle" one of my frames for my computer/desk specs, and get a new frame for my daily wear.

Is it 2022 yet?

Have I ever mentioned that the older I get, the less I like the holidays? It's not the years, and it's not even the mileage... it's the fender benders along the way.

All I want to do is pull December over my head, and not come out until the 2nd week in January. My left knee is still screwed up, but at least the nerve pain is gone.

The 'kittens' have really adapted to being domestic moggies, instead of feral strays. Still flinch a bit when you go to pet them, and Trance is still being a bully.

*sigh*

Time might keep slipping into the future

But I seem to stuck in neutral.

A visit to my G.P. aka another chapter of the chemical experiment that is my life.

I had made an extended appointment as I had some issues to discuss with him, but when Wing  found out I was going, he decided that he could use the extended time.  Well, let's just say I have not problem discussing personal issues with my G.P. but it's funny watching Wing turning redder and redder, and looking anywhere but at either of us.

I got prescription kerfuffle fixed, and refills for what has run out. Oh happy day, I found out that even with all the different meds, I can still take my migraine medicine.
As to Wing's issue, his gout is acting up. Muhahaha! The peanuts are mine! ALL MINE! Eh, they'll be in the air tight container waiting for him.

Tomorrow, I get to see Matt the Torturer! (aka physiotherapist) even earlier in the morning than I saw my G.P.  And I am NOT a morning person.

On a different note, I have been waiting for some books by Rosemary Edghill to become available for Kindle for some years.  I finally broke down and got the trilogy called the 12 Treasures. What happened to the other 9? Let's call it an early Yule present for me.

A pinch of this, a shake of that. The recipe for the Chemical Experiment that is my life

Dr F, after questioning and discussion, has changed my prescriptions and dosage.  She commended me about my ‘self-weaning’ from 6 lorazepam a day (two tablets, 3 times a day) to three tablets a day, to two.  She asked me to continue reduction by .5 (IOWs cut pills in half, and have one and a half tablets a day.  Then one cut in half per day. She did tell me if I start having the dystonic seizures at any reduction, increase dosage to previous reduction.

So, along with the above, I take Lyrica and duloxetine for nerve pain, Naproxen for acute arthritis pain, Metformin for hypothyroid related issues, Thyroxine and Tertroxin for thyroid function.

The new chemical in the mix: Prazosin.

Prazosin is prescribed "off label" to treat the severe nightmares and other sleep disturbances related to PTSD, meaning that it has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration for that use. But doctors can legally prescribe any treatment they deem appropriate for a patient's condition. Prazosin is the most thoroughly studied drug in regard to PTSD and sleep among the class of medications known as alpha-1 blockers. In addition to preventing nightmares and insomnia, it can help improve overall symptoms, such as flashbacks, startle response, and irritability or anger, and it can be taken with an antidepressant.

I am hoping that the changes will improve things. Note I didn’t type “fix things” or make it all better?  I want an improvement.

Stay tuned!

Let's see what happens, shall we?

Although wearing the leg/knee brace does make it easier to get around, sort of, the muscles in the leg get weak, as the brace is doing all the work.

Today, I went for short sortie into the local mall, using just my cane.  I meandered in one of the stores, picking up a few things, for about 20 minutes. I will admit, I was ready to collapse into a chair when we got back. Left leg isn't too sore, but feels very weak.

Oh yeah, I get to do it again tomorrow! Might end  up using the cuff crutches, as tomorrow's usual routine include more than a hour worth of walking.

Rest of my left side still stiff and sore from the fall I took a few days ago.

Yup... gravity does work. Even in the southern hemisphere.

I was getting ready for bed. While removing leggings, I lost balance and started to fall. I put right hand on too soft of a bed (at least it slowed my downward momentum) and I landed on my (wait for it) left knee, elbow and shoulder.

I swear, everything from my eyebrows down hurts. I am in category "Bruised, not broken"

I really need a bathtub or a hot tub. But that isn't going of happen.

Where to start

Just when I thought it was safe to go into the water...  I woke up one morning with zero nerve pain. I had two glorious days of being able to walk as close to normal as normal can be.   Then, the cold, rainy, damp weather arrived. Now, I don't have nerve pain, but I do have arthritis. My knee sounds like broken glass and Rice Krispies grinding together.  Can we say ow?  I hate taking that first step after walking up in the morning. It's a gamble on how much it's going to hurt.  Let's just say results may vary.  I use a cane walking around, and that fekking knee brace if I'm going out and about to stop side to side movement.

We adopted to former stray kittens from Perth Rescue Angels. They had been dumped off behind a senior living center, and bless them, they made sure the little mites were fed, but they didn't have human socialization. They stayed 3 months with a foster carers, Jodi and David. With lots of patients, and creamy treats, they knocked most of the rough edges from the little moggies, Drax and Groot.  We've had them for 5 months, and they are becoming two of the most loveydovey furbabies.

Drax on the left, Groo-bear on the right.

.

Onward

 Wing and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary.  Pretty good since someone he introduced me to said it wouldn't last a year. Technically they were right. It was a year and 20.  On an aside, they've been divorced a few years now.

Loki gave us a scare. Turn out he is asthmatic, a seasonal asthmatic. And like me, he uses an inhaler. But unlike me, we have to hold a small mask over his muzzle until he takes 10 breaths.  Have to say, he fought us about it, but no more bronchial coughing. Vets have all said for a 14 going on 15 yr old cat, he is in amazing condition. Ears, eyes, teeth, lungs, heart, body condition of a 10 yr old cat.

I'm still seeing a counselor. Oh yeah, 'Holiday Season' coming up. oh yay.

That was very sneaky of you, DxO

After using NIK software for so long (close to 20 years, through three different companies, NIK, Google, and DxO) when an actual update to Viveza and Silver EfexPro, I went to the download page, saw this small graphic, eye bending colors with no real cohesion, it meant nothing to me really. More on that later.

I downloaded it, installed it, bought it, as I had no reason not to (again more on that later) and activated it.

Now, I still use Adobe CS6 Extended. It works great, and all the major players plugins (On1, Topaz, Exposure) work with it.

Here's "More On That Later" - I fired up CS6, tried Viveza3, and got "Not enough Ram" error. Whohuhwha?

I started the older than CS6 version of Lightroom, and Viveza3 and SilverEfex Pro worked perfectly.
So, I tried it again in my newer than the Lightroom version CS6 and still got the Not Enough Ram message.

I send off a support request.

Turns out that small graphic on their sale/download page, if blown up 5 or 6x is legible. Colors are still eye-watering, though. Sneaky SOBs no longer allow CS6 and DxO NIK 4 (a misnomer, as only a few of the plugins have truly been updated)

As for then v3 of Viveza and Silver EfexPro: bloated, clunky, and next to impossible to figure out how to use. In my opinion, it was as if they tried to keep the old workflow and jammed it together with other brands work flow (*coughOn1cough*)

Good thing for me I had the last version of DxO NIK v3 installation file saved. I uninstalled v4, reinstalled v3, and all is well with the world.

Since I stupidly presumed that the 'updated' version would work with my current editing program, I activated it. No refund for me. I hope they have a nice lunch on me.

My opinion: Keep NIK v3x as is, and use other software to get what you need. Hey, since their new version of Viveza and SilverEfex Pro looks a lot like On1, how about just getting On1?

Oh wow.

I just came home from my appointment with Dr H. I told him about the Monday Mistake and my knee having no pain on Tuesday. I then old him about how I re-created the Monday Mistake, and had the same results the following day. I have been taking 300mg twice a day for the past two days, and have had no knee pain.

He said the almost instant relief of pain shows it is definitely neuropathic pain. I am now officially on 300mg capsules twice a day.

Dr H did tell me that I have to be careful not to over strain my leg, as the muscles and structures around it are weak from using a brace and crutches, but ya know something. I am just so jazzed by the fact that yes, it's not all in my head, it is neuropathic pain, and there is light at the end of the tunnel... and it's not New Jersey! ;)

I am going to experiment on myself.

Not going to take a chance with the seizure meds this time, but I'm holding off taking the morning nerve pain meds until later in the day. How much later will depend on how bad the nerves start jangling along the fasciotomy scar and the left knee.

If getting as close as I can to repeating what I did Monday evening today, Thursday, and get the same results on Friday, I'm going to have to have a serious discussions with GP and pain specialist. Because if it's the same under medicate me for years bullshit I had to put up with regarding hypothyroidism, I don't have another 20 years to wait for them to pull their thumbs out of their asses.

Being undermedicated?

I was quite sore from my out and about on Saturday and Sunday. Monday was hectic, and I ended up forgetting to take my morning meds (lorazepam, Lyrica, Duloxetine, and Celaxib) I didn't realize it until after dinner. Then it dawned on my why I was in so much pain all day.  So, I took my morning meds, stayed up late, and took the nighttime Lyrica. I skipped the night dose of lorazepam)

Went to bed, and woke up Tuesday morning, with leg a bit stiff.  I got up and walked around, and it took me about 10 minutes to realize my left knee, with the exception of my arthritis twinge I'm used to, had zero pain.  All day Tuesday, I was up and about doing things without pain.

Today is Wednesday...  and I have to say that my left knee feels better than it did Monday, but worse than it felt Tuesday.  This makes me want to try what accidentally happened Monday night again.  I also have a feeling I am being under medicated regarding the nerve pain.  Personally, I think taking 300mgs of Lyrica along with 60mgs of Duloxetine tackled the nerve pain.  Yes, I will be making appointment with my GP to find out about this. I'm also keeping a diary regarding pain levels.

What a pain in the ass.

I have been reading that Apple will be discontinuing iTunes for Mac.  It's just a matter of time until they decide to do the same with iTunes on PCs.  I had to uninstall my current updated version, reboot, reinstall an earlier version, so I can make sure I can still watch or listen to the content I paid for.

What a pain in the ass.

Saw the Occupational Therapist Friday afternoon

And was shown (painfully) how I was standing and walking incorrectly. Ian apologised for it, but I told him not to worry, because it's like telling a child something is hot, they don't believe it until they touch something hot. I wouldn't have really understood what he was referring to regarding my knee and the rest of the leg.  I have been walking with my feet turned out, and I have to school myself to keep them pointing forward.  I was also sent home with a list of exercises to do.  I did them Saturday, and my left leg is quivering in protest. Oh, and did I mention it #%$%%@ HURTS! At least it's muscular, so maybe paracetamol will help, as it doesn't help with the nerve pain in the knee joint.

Ian also advised me to wear a knee brace to keep knee stable (no side to side movement) and to keep foot pointing forward, not turned out. He was happy to hear I had a couple of DonJoy's to use.

I have to retrain my leg to not have me walking like something from a zombie movie.

I still feel like a walking Pharmaceutical Experiment. And both Ian and Dr L said yes, have to find the right combination and dosage to quell the nerve pain. 

Sometimes, just the little things

I was getting ready for a shower, with Loki meowing almost non-stop. He was in a tizzy that I was going to go into the dreaded 'rain closet'. AGAIN!

So, I'm in the shower, listening to Loki's almost operatic meowing for about 5 minutes. As I was putting on my terrycloth robe, he yowled, ran up to me, and would not let me leave the bathroom until he was certain I had survived the rain closet, and that he personally 'dried off' my foot and leg. 

After I passed his inspection, I was allowed to leave the bathroom and to wander around the house. :)

Saw Dr L today

But this time, I had hubby wait somewhere. 

I'd felt last time that D L had a chip on his should regarding my husband calling and nagging him to push my appointment up. And that it was reflected in how talked at me, instead of to me.  All fixed.

He says that concerning my knee problem, I have 'realistic expectations’.  I'm not looking for my knee to magically feel all better. What I want is the pain level of 5 to 7 on a daily basis to lurk around three.  I'm functional at that pain level.  And I need a good night's sleep.  Dr L has given me a prescription that I am to have filled one month after taking 60mgs of Duloxetine a day, a low dose of something (forgot the name) to take around 7pm, in hopes it makes sleeping easier.

Also told me no need to split the Dulox 30mg caps to one in the morning and one at night, but to take the full 60 in the morning.
I told Dr L I was beginning to feel like a pharmaceutical experiment. He said basically, that's true. We are trying to find the right combination to get the nerve pain under control

I feel like a walking pharmaceutical experiment

Been on the Duloxetine for a few weeks.  I saw GP last week, and I told him how it would wear off late in the afternoon, or early evening. Because of that, pain was getting up up at night.  Dr H suggest I go with a 60mg dose in the morning. Uhh, seeing how Dulox hammers me with nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, I made the suggest about taking 30mg in the morning, and 30 before I had off to bed.  This was amenable to Dr H. Tonight will be 2nd night taking Dulox before heading to bed.

Saw both psychiatrist and psychologist. Yes, I have depression. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts. I sometimes actually cried when I woke up, because I woke up. Be that as it may, I'm not doing anything that will prevent me from waking up.  Both have told me when I'm not being rocked with pain all the time, the depression should be alleviated.

Still hopeful.

Yeah, definitely feeling like Job

Spinal Fusion because of a collapsed disc. (chronic back pain since)
Gall Bladder Removal
Bad fall in Denmark, W.A. (bruised entire right side, lost chunk of meat on right palm. Probable scaphoid injury.)
Inflamed mass removed from back (turned out to be ruptured cyst)
Injured knee tripping over Wing's shoes.
Total knee replacement.
Car accident 5 months later.
5 more months of knee rehab.
Fall in Broome.
Walking Pneumonia
Hemi-dystonic seizures
Fasciotomy for compartment syndrome
Enesthopathy (acute plantar fasciitis)
Vertically fracture molar due to clenching teeth in pain.

And just as I was getting things back to normal, my cat jumped on my knee last August and injured it.

I'm tired.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

Time and days keep moving forward, but I feel stuck in loop.

I've had three different doctors, specialist, etc etc, look at my knee and I will sum up their findings:

My knee is borked enough to make my life rather miserable, keeping me mostly housebound, or on just short trips, with a healthy dose of neuropathy, but not bad enough to have remedial surgery/measure.

I'm trying to stay upbeat, but I'm tired. Tired of plastering a smile on my face, putting up cheery conversation, when all I really want to do is put my head under a pillow and cry.

I am on medications galore, and one of them makes me queasy, dizzy, dry mouthed,  and drowsy. Two others make me drowsy, another will give me horrible acid reflux unless enough 'with food' is eaten. And two of them give me another problem, but I'm going to give that description a miss.

I've been told that the symptoms from the first one I described 'should' go away after a few weeks.  Anyone else ever want to ask the doctors  "Define 'a few weeks', please."?

I will muddle through, leg propped on foot stool, Loki snugged up next to me, and hope for the best.

That's one helluva long time for a photo op

Today I laughingly reminded Wing that someone accused me of setting up a nectar feeder just for photo op.

Really? 5 years on, and several more feeders put up is a helluva long time for a single photo op, yes? 

I first set one up, with bird molting vitamins, to help an injured Red Wattlebird. It has long since recovered, even raising a few broods, although it took about a year of it pretty much staying in our front yard garden. 

I was going to just take it down, and that's that. But then we had a neighbor chop down all the native nectar bearing shrubs and trees. The reason: the birds made too much noise.  7 feeders in the front yard, 2 in the back, and the birds are welcome to make as much noise in my yard as they want.

New medication, new side effects

GP prescribed duloxetine to help with the 'hyperalgesia' in my left knee.  Been on it for going on a week.

Why is it every medication to 'fix' problem make me drowsy, sleepy, brainfogged?

Current new side effects:  Feeling dizzy, blurred vision, feeling nausea (thankfully, no vomiting) and dry mouth.

I have been told they will lessen with time. Oh gawd I hope so. Walking around feeling half asleep. feeling the room spin isn't fun.

The Babylon 5 Universe gets smaller

Babylon 5 Star and Lost Actress Mira Furlan Passes Away

YAY! It's *not* all in my head.

I had a very exacting and precise examination of my left knee, and its surrounds. Here is the prognosis:

S***** has had an MRI scan and orthopaedic review, with the opinion that no surgery is indicated. There are medial meniscal changes as well as knee OA and some signs of anterior knee oedema following her injury on her MRI. She had a local knee cortisone injection which she reports flared her knee for three weeks and provided no overall benefit.

S***** remains very limited in her walking capacity, requiring a walking stick even for short distances. She reports prior to her injury, she was increasing exercise under supervision, losing weight and walking on uneven surfaces without difficulty. *

**** has a combination of local underlying knee pain as well as signs of increased pain sensitisation (including localised sharp hyperalgesia). Her knee strength is mainly limited by pain inhibition. Her antalgic gait is likely also impacting on her recent increase in low back pain.

Got the crutches (uhh yay?) and have been told to use them when walking around outside of the house. Fun fun. Now, I will wait until I hear from Meg The Merciless as to how we shall proceed. And in the meantime, find a pool somewhere, as swimming was one of the recommended things to do.

How about that. 2021

I made it. A bit battered, bruised, and dented, but I made it.

I keep counting down the days until Trump is given his walking papers, but I am worried about what he and his cronies will to to f**k things up before they leave.  Yes, he and his crew are that spiteful and petty.

Wing had a trapeziectomy (save you the google time, he had bone removed from his left wrist because of stage 4 osteoarthritis) and then some of his own body parts used to create a capsule to give the long thumb bone a place to sit.  His hand is already in the proper "hold a can" position. Dr L is very pleased with the results. Now comes the hard yards, of slow physical therapy, and monotonous exercises.  He's doing quite well.

My left knee. Hmm. Today I saw my GP, and told him about the less then stellar performance of Dr B L.  Dr H examined my knee, and said, nope it's not all in my head. There is degenerative arthritis in my knee, and with amount of grinding in there, yeah, it's painful.  He said the medication suggested when I finally get to see the psychiatrist Dr B L referred me to (haven't seen said person yet) is not just an antidepressant, but can also calm nerve pain.  I will keep using the lidocaine patches on the knee to make the skin surface less painful. He has also increased a non-opiate medication dose.  He said if the psychiatrist Dr B L referred me to doesn't contact me in a month, call him and he will write the prescription himself.

He knows me. He knows that when my right knee was going, I was walking around lakes to get photos of wild life. Walking around the woods, and other places, even though yeah, it hurt.  I haven't been doing that with how my left knee is. I have to use a cane, because not only does it hurt worse, it feels like it's going to fold all the time.

I just want the pain dulled. I know the knee will need replacement (family history of osteoarthritis in the knees; mother, aunt, grandmother, great grandmother, and now me).