Sometimes, just the little things

I was getting ready for a shower, with Loki meowing almost non-stop. He was in a tizzy that I was going to go into the dreaded 'rain closet'. AGAIN!

So, I'm in the shower, listening to Loki's almost operatic meowing for about 5 minutes. As I was putting on my terrycloth robe, he yowled, ran up to me, and would not let me leave the bathroom until he was certain I had survived the rain closet, and that he personally 'dried off' my foot and leg. 

After I passed his inspection, I was allowed to leave the bathroom and to wander around the house. :)

Saw Dr L today

But this time, I had hubby wait somewhere. 

I'd felt last time that D L had a chip on his should regarding my husband calling and nagging him to push my appointment up. And that it was reflected in how talked at me, instead of to me.  All fixed.

He says that concerning my knee problem, I have 'realistic expectations’.  I'm not looking for my knee to magically feel all better. What I want is the pain level of 5 to 7 on a daily basis to lurk around three.  I'm functional at that pain level.  And I need a good night's sleep.  Dr L has given me a prescription that I am to have filled one month after taking 60mgs of Duloxetine a day, a low dose of something (forgot the name) to take around 7pm, in hopes it makes sleeping easier.

Also told me no need to split the Dulox 30mg caps to one in the morning and one at night, but to take the full 60 in the morning.
I told Dr L I was beginning to feel like a pharmaceutical experiment. He said basically, that's true. We are trying to find the right combination to get the nerve pain under control

I feel like a walking pharmaceutical experiment

Been on the Duloxetine for a few weeks.  I saw GP last week, and I told him how it would wear off late in the afternoon, or early evening. Because of that, pain was getting up up at night.  Dr H suggest I go with a 60mg dose in the morning. Uhh, seeing how Dulox hammers me with nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, I made the suggest about taking 30mg in the morning, and 30 before I had off to bed.  This was amenable to Dr H. Tonight will be 2nd night taking Dulox before heading to bed.

Saw both psychiatrist and psychologist. Yes, I have depression. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts. I sometimes actually cried when I woke up, because I woke up. Be that as it may, I'm not doing anything that will prevent me from waking up.  Both have told me when I'm not being rocked with pain all the time, the depression should be alleviated.

Still hopeful.

Yeah, definitely feeling like Job

Spinal Fusion because of a collapsed disc. (chronic back pain since)
Gall Bladder Removal
Bad fall in Denmark, W.A. (bruised entire right side, lost chunk of meat on right palm. Probable scaphoid injury.)
Inflamed mass removed from back (turned out to be ruptured cyst)
Injured knee tripping over Wing's shoes.
Total knee replacement.
Car accident 5 months later.
5 more months of knee rehab.
Fall in Broome.
Walking Pneumonia
Hemi-dystonic seizures
Fasciotomy for compartment syndrome
Enesthopathy (acute plantar fasciitis)
Vertically fracture molar due to clenching teeth in pain.

And just as I was getting things back to normal, my cat jumped on my knee last August and injured it.

I'm tired.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

Time and days keep moving forward, but I feel stuck in loop.

I've had three different doctors, specialist, etc etc, look at my knee and I will sum up their findings:

My knee is borked enough to make my life rather miserable, keeping me mostly housebound, or on just short trips, with a healthy dose of neuropathy, but not bad enough to have remedial surgery/measure.

I'm trying to stay upbeat, but I'm tired. Tired of plastering a smile on my face, putting up cheery conversation, when all I really want to do is put my head under a pillow and cry.

I am on medications galore, and one of them makes me queasy, dizzy, dry mouthed,  and drowsy. Two others make me drowsy, another will give me horrible acid reflux unless enough 'with food' is eaten. And two of them give me another problem, but I'm going to give that description a miss.

I've been told that the symptoms from the first one I described 'should' go away after a few weeks.  Anyone else ever want to ask the doctors  "Define 'a few weeks', please."?

I will muddle through, leg propped on foot stool, Loki snugged up next to me, and hope for the best.

That's one helluva long time for a photo op

Today I laughingly reminded Wing that someone accused me of setting up a nectar feeder just for photo op.

Really? 5 years on, and several more feeders put up is a helluva long time for a single photo op, yes? 

I first set one up, with bird molting vitamins, to help an injured Red Wattlebird. It has long since recovered, even raising a few broods, although it took about a year of it pretty much staying in our front yard garden. 

I was going to just take it down, and that's that. But then we had a neighbor chop down all the native nectar bearing shrubs and trees. The reason: the birds made too much noise.  7 feeders in the front yard, 2 in the back, and the birds are welcome to make as much noise in my yard as they want.

New medication, new side effects

GP prescribed duloxetine to help with the 'hyperalgesia' in my left knee.  Been on it for going on a week.

Why is it every medication to 'fix' problem make me drowsy, sleepy, brainfogged?

Current new side effects:  Feeling dizzy, blurred vision, feeling nausea (thankfully, no vomiting) and dry mouth.

I have been told they will lessen with time. Oh gawd I hope so. Walking around feeling half asleep. feeling the room spin isn't fun.