I don't know if I can go through this again

Trance and Loki both had lumps removed a week ago Saturday. Samples were sent off to pathology.

Trance has hemangiosarcoma (HSA) is a cancer that arises from malignant blood vessel cells and is an uncommon cancer in cats. It is a very aggressive cancer that spreads (metastasis) early and is associated with a poor prognosis. The underlying cause of HSA is unknown. Vet said it was just bad luck, because it's usually in dogs, not cats. And if it is in cats it usually in light furred outdoor cats, and Trance is a dark furred indoor cat.

I haven't been able to completely stop crying. First it was Ziggy, then Keito, and now Trance? Three different types of cancer, each of them 'bad luck'? I feel as if my heart is being crushed.

Better living through chemistry... again.

Dr H refilled the slow release and quick release pain killers. Last night I took the quick one after dinner, and the slow release one before going to bed.  That was the best nights' sleep I have had in a long time.. ok, in two weeks.

Got up late, after 8am, and for those who know me, that is very late. Bonus, I didn't need the Zimmer frame, was able to get around with just using the cane. Was also able to completely shower, including a shampooing and conditioner. Still had Wing waiting in the other room, just in case I got vertigo from leaning my head back under the shower head.

Only needed one quick release after breakfast. And when it took affect, I sat down in a chair and slid my left foot back until I felt tightness/discomfort. When the discomfort went away, or dropped to a tolerable level, I would move my foot back a little more. I don't have something to measure, but I'm pretty sure after doing that routine a few times, I was able to bend my knee to about 110 degrees.

I'm manipulating the incision scar. Moving it side to side, stretching it from top to bottom, in an effort to make it more pliable when the 'real' rehab starts in a few weeks.

And, I am back to sitting at my desk, with leg propped up on a footstool,  rather than a medical chair with a hospital type rolling table. The only problem is Loki, the lovable, huge, moggie wants to climb up on my, via my left leg. He doesn't understand why he can't do this right now.

Not really fun, but hey...

On July 7th, I had a total left knee replacement. The surgery went ok, but as usual, I had a bad reaction to the medication. Instead of the surgical meds, the post-op medications threw me for a loop.  It made me pass out face first into a cup of apple juice, thereby inhaling some.  Apple juice induced pneumonia! Two days of strong antibiotics set me to right.

Came home on July 13th. Brain still felt as if it had been packed in some sort of fog. Have been told this is normal.
The left leg was swollen from mid-thigh to the foot. Been told this is normal. My left foot was almost twice the size of my right foot.  Also normal. Pretty much stayed seated in bedroom, on the chair with small table, Wing and Alan keeping me company via card table and two chairs.  Gave the place less of a 'sick room' feel.

Loki has pretty much stayed by my side for the entire 3 weeks I've been home. He's discovered the 'body sized' pillow is soft and comfy, so we time share it.

I only had one mishap. My left ankle rolled, and the new knee parts slammed together. The pain was blinding, and I tried not to scream. Wasn't successful. Good news is after two days of 'babying' the leg (Alan noticed if my leg was kept aligned with my hip, there was no pain) it was back to what it had been prior to the mishap.

Home visiting nurse came over, took off the original bandage, and examined the incision. No sign of infection, was healing nicely. Put some Steri-Strips across it, and one larger water proof dressing back over it. She told me I could take it off after a week, and just let the Strips fall off as they will. As of today, I have only two left.

So, have been toddling around with a Zimmer frame, and have graduated to using a cane some parts of the day. My left foot is back to normal size. I can actually take a shower without assistance now, although I prefer to have Wing when I am going to wash my hair. I get a bit of vertigo tipping my head back. I would rather have him there just in case I start tipping over.

Called my GP today to discuss medications and refills, or resuming. Have that all straightened out now.  He said he saw no reason to play tough guy and NOT get pain relief. In actuality, if there is a lot of pain, that can slow down recovery.

So, that's everything in a nutshell.

I'm miserable

But I'm hiding it so well, so no one is worried.  My neighbor (and friends) Doug and Jean are moving to Eastern Australia, and have taken their beautiful dog, Heidi, along.  As much as I do understand they're going because they're going because Doug's parents are in their early 90s, so want to spend as much time with them as possible.

For me, it means my isolation is almost complete.  I would go out on photo forays with her, go to her house for a cup of tea, and a bit of nattering. 

I'm having a hard time with not hearing Heidi greeting the passers-by.  It's too quiet.

Talk about Deja vu!

Saw Mr F. and it seems I have no other option but a total left knee replacement.  Didn't I do this before? (check tag) Yup, on the right knee, almost 5 years ago.

Not really looking forward to going through all of that again. My weight is an issue (well, hully gee, it took 20 years before an endocrinologist finally diagnosed and started treating me for insulin resistance.) There is a 99% chance of a perfect outcome with a certain BMI, and a 1% chance of problems (DVT, infection, etc). With me, the chances are doubled.  To me, that means 98% chance of a perfect outcome. I like those odds. I don't like what I have to do to achieve them.

Mr. F. want me to stop taking the Lyrica. Yeah, I can do that.  Had to explain to him why I, not a diabetic, am taking Metaformin.

Have to get a C.A.T. scan on the left knee Sunday morning, 10am.  Then about a week before the scheduled surgery, I have to get blood drawn for tests.  And I have to be tested for MRSA.  

To whatever asshat who either forgot to bring their cat inside,

or just decided roaming around at night was a good idea... 

I would like to thank you for Trance's "I WANT TO KILL YOU!" screams and yowl in the middle of the night, as she followed your cat from office window, to the front bay windows, until it left our yard, only to enter my neighbors yard outside her field of vision.

You are the type of cat owner that makes responsible pet owners pissed off. Our only 'free range' cat is a 15 yr old who likes to bake on the bricks in the fenced in back yard, and has one area he uses for his bodily functions.  But he is not allowed to roam free, night or day. If he really wants out at night, we have an enclosure that is attached to the sliding glass doors.

The other three cats are *never* allowed to go outside, free range. It's the enclosure, with a chair, two hammocks, a box , and a few pingpong and golf balls to play with, a panoramic view of birds of all kinds local for entertainment.

But there are, and have been, at least 7 cats that roam around. One, I caught and rehomed as the poor mite had been abandoned when the humans moved house. That leaves 6.  I'm fairly sure that two of them, (one of which I had photographed her in our Jacaranda tree some years ago), has passed, leaving the 4 regular roamers.

Milo (the only one to have a collar with a name tag, who is the "Groo-bear look-alike"), the Ragdoll (why someone would let a pedigree cat roam is beyond me), the white cat with flame point tail and ears, and the ginger and white striped cat.

These are the cats whose owner's thumb their noses at local laws and regulations concerning cats. You are the kind that make things more difficult for those of us who obey laws, and do all the right things.  I don't blame the cats for doing what cats are genetically geared to do. I do blame the humans who are supposed to be  their caretakers.

Left knee is hurting

A lot today. I can't keep from involuntarily crying out, or making noise behind my clamped shut lips. I don't know what's changed since yesterday, or from the past months, but today is the first time I have taken pain meds.

Part of me is relieved that pain relief is on its way, and another part of me is ashamed to have caved into it.